What actually happens in a session

A lot of parents picture it before they ring: their child on one side of a desk, me on the other with a clipboard, asking "and how does that make you feel?" Most children picture something similar, or a doctor's room, or a test. It isn't like that. Here is what a session with me usually looks like, so you can describe it to your child accurately.

The room

It is set up for children, not for meetings. There is a low table, floor space, drawing things, games, books, a few fidgets, sensory bits and pieces, and things to build with. Most children clock the toys before they clock me, which is fine. The room is at Suite 5, 220 The Entrance Road, Erina, with parking on site and a small waiting area outside.

The first few minutes

I come out to the waiting area and say hello, and we walk in together. For younger children, a parent usually comes in too; for older children, it depends on what they prefer, and we can decide together at the door. I don't start with questions. I start with whatever is on the table. A child who is building something or drawing is far more likely to talk than a child who has been asked to sit and talk.

Play is the work, not the warm-up

With a five-year-old, a session might be almost entirely play: a game where the dinosaur gets very cross and we work out what helps him calm down, or drawing the worry as a creature and deciding how big it really is. That is not a break before the "real" part. For young children, play is how feelings get named, practised and understood. With an eight-year-old there is more talking, but it usually happens sideways, while we play a card game or work on something together. With a twelve-year-old it can look more like a conversation, though there are still things to do with our hands, because most people, adults included, find hard things easier to say when they aren't being looked at.

What I am actually doing

While we play, I am noticing: how your child handles losing a game, what they do when something is tricky, what they light up about, how they talk about school and friends. I am also teaching, gently and without a whiteboard: a word for a feeling, a way to slow down, a different ending to a story. And I am building the trust that makes the harder conversations possible later. Over a few sessions, the games get more targeted to what we are working on, but from your child's side it still mostly feels like playing with someone who is interested in them.

Things your child never has to do

• Sit still or make eye contact
• Answer a question they don't want to answer ("pass" is always allowed)
• Talk about the thing that is hard before they are ready
• Stop stimming, fidgeting or moving around
• Stay in the room without a parent if that feels too much

How long, and what happens with parents

A session is 50 minutes. With younger children I often finish a little early and use the last part to talk with you, either in the room or afterwards by phone, about what we did and one small thing to try at home. With older children I ask their permission before sharing anything specific with you; the general shape of what we're working on is always yours to know.

How to describe it to your child

Keep it plain and true: "Holly is a person whose job is helping kids with feelings and tricky stuff. Her room has toys and games. You'll play and chat, and I'll be close by." Don't promise it will be fun, and don't frame it as a fix for something the child is doing wrong. If your child is anxious about new places, I have a short picture story you can read together before the first visit — "Going to see Holly" — ask me for it when you book, or download it below.